Driving on the Big Empty Road

The traffic restrained that part of me that fights to live. I can’t breathe. When I drive, I prefer a wide open road, but all I could see was metal box behind metal box.  Up ahead was my escape — a ramp for a highway that would take me far from my destination, the traffic, though, was lighter. It only took me seconds to make the decision.

It’s time to take a ride.

Driving for pleasure is night-and-day for me. Whereas my life has to be carefully plotted, every possibility expected, when I drive for pleasure I throw caution to the wind. I turn on the radio and head away from traffic. Anywhere, as long as it’s away. This is my heaven for me. No need to make conversations. No need to think. I let instinct and the road lead me wherever it may lead. Hopefully, down a long, open road, empty of expectations and full of promise.

I often talk of jumping in my car and running away from my life. Falling farther from everything I am in this conscious life. This dream drive is not meant to lead me away from my reality. Not completely. This is what most people don’t understand. For me, I would be running toward an adventure, prepared to get stuck in strange traffic, not fazed by mom & pop general stores and lonely gas stations.

That existence is what life should be like. When I get stuck in the city traffic of my big-box centered life, the life of the empty road teases me. I fantasize about a summer with no paychecks and no hotel reservations.  Banging to Metallica blasting from my stereo, I see myself open to any possibility on the road, accepting any detour life could throw my way.

Frequently, I panic, wondering if I’m taking too long to jump on life’s big empty road. I know that the attraction of that road is the promise of tomorrow. And I know that Teacher would eagerly urge me to take the keys to a life of adventure and acceptance. Living on 3D Earth now, I must admit that this insatiable desire that burns in me is not always acceptable.

I wish it were.

Until the day it is, I vow to accept what life has to offer. I promise to, whenever possible, jump onto life’s open, empty roads with the promises they offer. I swear to put my heart in the hands of the power that guides and allow it to take me down the long, unwritten road that will get me Home and happy once again.

Until then, I remain, forever faithfully,

The Dragonfly’s Student

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